I’ve been putting on a fake smile all day. Even though I’m thankful for everything I have and everything I got, it still wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted you. And to spend the day with you. Oh well… I’m gonna watch movies all day. Hopefully it’ll get my mind off of it. Prolly not tho, I’m hopeless. Merry Christmas. For what it’s worth, I love you, and glad you could spend your day with someone who makes you happier than I made you.
its funny when the person your in love with, and she tells you all these things about how she cares, and that shes in love with you, but does something completely different. i know she will probably read this, but i dont have another way to tell her these things. i really do love you, and want to be with you everyday. i make myself sick about it cause its all thats on my mind. ive been sleeping since 2 yesterday, and havent found the strength to get up and do anything. you can say your sorry a million times, but the only way i see it is if your actions do something different. i already figure im going to have to go these holidays alone, since i have family issues, i dont really have anyone to spend my time with. not that you care. im really just heartbroken. and its not that i want to get married, or have kids, or have a big house or be with someone my age. i just want you, all of you. and yeah, sure its gonna be tough, and it wont come easy, but i will work at it everyday because its what i want, me and you, forever and ever. i love you kara. it really hurts to see you with someone else, and honestly, it does kill me. i will do anything to have you back. i dont really care what it is, or what i would have to do. i would make it work, because in the end if i had you, my world would be complete. <3 i love you.
life isnt fair.
but i can still hope for the best of things.
i lay here awake waiting for your phone call, even tho chances are it may never come. but i would wait a million years just to have that chance.
ill never be okay with him having you. and it breaks my heart every single day. but i cant loose you, cause that would kill me instantly.
all i can do now is wait for you until the day i die.
P.S. im gonna watch the notebook all night, and wish apon everything that this story happens to me.
#karaainge #jesus #reallifeproblems #depression
Nothing else matters when I have you. I’m always wishing I got what I wanted, instead I’m living in a world where other people’s needs come first. But just once, I wish you would believe me, and be with me for the rest of my life. And hold me, and lay with me, sing silly songs with me, laugh with me, hold hands and watch movies with me. That’s what I really want in life. A bestfriend to love and be with everyday. I love you kalalilly
i have this thing, where everyone assumes that im talking about them, and turns into me looking like a shady character. fact is, nobody knows whats really going on with me, nobody has cared to ask. im not gonna pour out my problems onto someone else because that just isnt me. if you really knew me, and knew what i was about, and cared enough to ask, maybe youd think different. this isnt about anyone specifically, just everyone in general.
no matter what decision is made, somehow im left out of the equation..
today was honestly one of the happiest days ive had in a long time, nothing makes me happier then seeing her. she just knows how to put me in the best mood and assure me that everything is going to be okay. i hope shes sleeping well and dreaming of tigers and clouds or something… i love you. :)
#karaannainge #jesus #love #bestfriend
things are hard for you right now, for absolutely no reason, and i know your doing your best to enjoy life and live it while you can, but i ask this not for my benefit, but for yours, i want to be in your life, because i life without you isnt a life worth living.. even though i will eventually move on, things would just never be the same. your the light and soul in my life, the reason who i am and the person ive become, you made me grow, and i wanna grow with you. you have a beautiful soul, and a peaceful mind at heart. thats what i love about you <3
nobody understands me and doesnt wanna take the time to ask me either. i literally have no one to talk to. all i have ever wanted to do was treat a girl right and make her the happiest she has ever been, and fall madly in love with her, i honestly just dont understand why this cant happen for me. i could honestly fall off the face of this earth and nobody would care or would even know. im supposed to record tomorrow, and i honestly dont know if i can do it anymore, nothing to me matters without her. and im doing the fucking best i can. but its never enough for anyone, my family, kara, my brother, old friends, i feel so out of place and not able to go out and do things and enjoy them anymore… i probably wont sleep tonight, just like i havent for the past 3 weeks, im sorry i couldnt be the man you wanted, and im sorry i couldnt make you happy. im so sorry i lost sight of what i was kara. and i hope you are happy with your new boy. as hard as it is for me to say that, i want to push you to do the things you want, and if that means me not being in the picture, then ill do it. every day that goes by, i miss you that much more, and it really is hard for me kara, more than it is for most people, i gave you my heart, which only one other person has had, and to be honest, its been ripped so hard, i have no idea when ill get over this. dont worry about me, you may not hear from me for awhile, cause i cant bear to talk to you or see you, its just to hard. i still love you. be safe in your life kara, ill always be here for you.
nothing matters, with out you.